i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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