he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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