I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
