You can't special order awesome
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
