he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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