you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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