Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
