whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
