Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
