i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize