I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
