Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize