So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
