we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
