Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
