My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
