is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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