I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
