IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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