do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize