Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
