I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm at about main and main street
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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