I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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