My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
