oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
