I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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