so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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