It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
