its not stalking. its research.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
