If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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