Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
