let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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