He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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