Kiss
Puke
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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