but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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