somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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