i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize