i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You were trust falling into bushes
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
