No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
