yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
as a side note pls kill me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
