Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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