So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize