I CAN MOONWALK!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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