Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize