You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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