you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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