i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
