I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
