I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
