The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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