sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
