Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
