Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
