After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
