That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize