Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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