C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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