You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
