What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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