Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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