I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
