dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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