so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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