i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
