Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
